Just thinking about stuff tonight. Stuff we like. Stuff that one might consider “favorites.” Ready or not, it’s sharing time again.
Favorite insect: Toss-up. Lady bug or Praying Mantis. Why? They eat other bugs. Since there’s a tie, however, we’re going to let dragonflies surge ahead. Why? Because they consume large quantities of mosquitoes. We aren’t partial to killing insects for the sake of doing it. No, it just doesn’t feel right to kill a fly as it passes by. But mosquitoes? They are the only animals we will actually go out of our way to kill. If a bug tries to take our blood, that’s personal. There’s a skeeter flying around the room right now. We can hear it. Little whining sound. As soon as we catch sight of it, this post will be put on hold until our bloodletting is satiated. That’s right, you little bastardette, we’re coming for you. We should feel a bit misogynistic because we only want to kill the females … but it’s only the females that attack people, so no apologies from us.
Go git ‘er, girl! Destroy the Succubus!
Favorite arachnid: Jumping Spiders. Why? They’re just so darn cute what with all their bouncing around and stuff. Plus they have really cool eyes (and apparently incredible eyesight … which would make sense, we suppose).
Spyder! Spyder! burning bright
In the forests of the night
What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?
(from a bastardized version by J.M. DeMatteis of William Blake’s poem)
Favorite ape: Bonobos. Why? Because they settle all disputes and manage stress with sex. And you thought we were going to say humans. Nope. Human sex actually leads to wars.
Git yer wimen ‘n’ chir’en inside! Them bonobos is loose agin!
Chimpanzee. More human than a human.
Leave the real fighting to us humans, you damn dirty apes!
Hmm. Apparently we prefer violent animals, so it appears, apparently.
Favorite beetle: Tweetle beetle (and we’re not talking about a favorite Beatle, fyi. If we were, we’d have to say Pete Best. Or Dick Starkey).
Take a minute to read the snipped tongue twister from our favorite Dr. Seuss book, Fox in Socks. Come back when you’re done. There are still plenty of good times to be had here, too.
We’re guessing that referring to Mae West as a “little chickadee” is a satiric play on words. We suspect that one could get a much larger breast of white meat off Mae (hey, this reminds us of our Biggest Boobs in Comics post) than off an actual chickadee. Hmm. How many chickadees would it take to make a chickadee smamich, do you suppose?
As for the swallow, as far as we know, it’s the only animal that can make a precise 90 degree turn at 40 miles per hour. Scientists are still working on it, but it appears that swallows can warp time and space. Tip of the hat to you, remarkable bird.
Favorite bird: Chickadees with swallows flying a close second. Why? Because chickadees are like the squirrels of the bird world. They’re quick and jittery and mischievous and generally silly. Swallows are incredibly aerodynamic natural machines and just mesmerizing to watch.
Look at that little fella. Ain’t he a cute’un? Our cat thinks so too. Fly away, chickadee!
Swallows are built like a stealth fighter and can slice through air like a ginsu knife through paper. Hmm. Perhaps we have a new clandestine weapon. Are swallows native to Syria?
Favorite pickle: None. We’ve all agreed that pickles have no place in the food pyramid. And the spawn of Satan’s garden from which pickles originate (cucumbers for the less than savvy) makes pickles even more detestable. We do like the word “pickle” though. It’s a funny word. And we really like it in the sentence, “Boys, we’re in a bit of a pickle.” Whenever possible, we slip that phrase into the course of a conversation. We’d like to say that there is no time where uttering that sentence would be inappropriate, but it seems that this is not the case, if friends are to be believed. We’ll let you decide for your own purposes, oh dear readers.
Favorite soft serve ice cream: Wendy’s Original Chocolate Frosty™. Duh.
If Wendy’s Original Chocolate Frosty™ is good enough for Eva Longoria, then it should be good enough for anyone. We don’t need a celebrity endorsement, though. Our addiction runs deep.
Favorite time of the day: yes, the one on the left.
Favorite hero comic book: We’d have to go with Daredevil. Why? He’s like Spider-man but with grit. He’s got a pretty cool costume, skills, and hot girlfriends. We’ve read Daredevil more than any other mainstream hero book and are one book shy of completing a full run of volume 1. Not sure if that’s a boast or an observation on how much money we have sunk into our hobby. Suffice it to say that Daredevil is the only comic book title that we have pursued so vigorously. We’re too damn cheap to start anything else.
Daredevil’s career has spanned over 500 issues and almost 40 years. You’ve come a long way, baby.
Favorite non-hero comic book or graphic novel: We should put an end to this “favorites” thing. Since we’re violently oppossed to commitment, how are we supposed to decide which graphic novel or comic is our favorite? There are just too many good ones. Besides, we are now bored and tired.
Ok, we just need to put in one last “favorite” …
Favorite past-time: Sleeping. Which is what we’re going to do now. Good night. We’ll be dreaming of you.
Unfortunately, there is a predictability factor that makes these types of polls irrelevant. Take us back two years and we will lay odds that Thor doesn’t even crack the Top 10. Why? Because Thor owns a very small slice of the Marvel Story and his own backstory resonates more with the DC Universe than it does with the mere mortal riddled costumed heroes and villians of the Marvel Universe. Thor’s an odd character to begin with. Spidey’s abilities are unusual and he may take on some weird baddies, but outside of the webslinger role, he’s a regular guy with regular problems. We can all relate to a degree to his personal joys and foibles. His allies and enemies are mostly from our realm. Most of the best Marvel heroes are like Spider-man … humans. Humans with special abilities but human enough.
And lastly, #3 … Wolverine. Now bear with us. The reason Wolverine above other pillars of the Universe is because he has never lost momentum since being introduced in the late 1970′s. The Hulk has seen his ups and downs and it’s hard to get past “Hulk Smash” no matter how many story forms he comes in; Iron Man just never climbed up to the top (although he had great potential really, so we’re not quite sure what happened); other X-Men haven’t had as much success, and teams like the Fantastic Four and Avengers have had big dry spells. But Wolverine appeals. He slides very easily into other heroes stories and does so with amazing frequency. He has a complicated past which creates a wealth of opportunities to write a bunch of sideline stories. Wolverine will never be close to #1 but he deserves his position.
If we were voting from our own bias, however, Daredevil would be right up there. Daredevil is like a gritty, more adult version of Spiderman. His backstory is relevant, especially with Frank Miller’s tinkering, and the cast of cohorts and villains is rich and diverse. The Man Without Fear is a troubled man and his drama creates interest outside the costume. Thor? Again, not so accessible. So while Daredevil won’t take the third spot, he’s still ahead of The Hulk, Iron Man, and Captain America in our books.
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