It’s a funny thing. At first, we thought we’d rather not, but we reconsidered after Milk’s polite addendum. So, hell-bound we are.
If you’ve been around the Comics A-Go-Go! site before, you’ll know we pride ourselves on our superb talent for laziness. Whenever possible, we cut corners on our posts to ensure we have as little time dedicated to real research as possible. OK, that’s partially a lie (hey, we do that a hell of a lot on our site too). If it’s something that grabs our interest, we’ll actually waste a ton of time reading up on the topic (although that effort doesn’t usually translate into something profound for you, oh dear reader). Case in point is the previous post on Samaritans. We didn’t know if the Samaritan ethno-religion even existed anymore. When we discovered it did, we tried to find out what was new and interesting about their culture. Apparently not much. Samaritanism is almost a dead sect. And, go find reading material and images about Samaritan women. We wasted over an hour trying to get details on females that practice the religion. Pretty much nada other than the thing we found out about the Ukraianian brides.
Sooooo, anyway. We’re tired of writing and editing images all the time. We’ve had guest contributors before and we think it’s about time to solicit more. If any of you have any interest in providing content for a post, let us know by dropping a comment below. We don’t even care what it’s about so long as it isn’t completely immoral or useless.
We’ll post your contribution with credits (actual or anonymous depending on your preference) to you. We’d love for the post to be about comics, movies, music, or other pop culture items. We welcome news pieces. We don’t mind posting a rant or two. So, show us what you’ve got. And if we don’t like it, we’ll probably still post it with a disclaimer.
We’ll start you off. Here’s an example from someone that commented a while ago.
Subject line: Glam Rock doesn’t suck. You do.How can you say glam rock is no good. Glam rock ROCKS!!!!!!! Mott the Hoople New York Dolls Slade David Bowie Roxy Music and more more more!!!!!! [editorial comment: no mention of Gary Glitter]. These R bands that live 4ever!! You suck. You dont have good music taste’s. Only people that [editorial comment: this is a PG-13 site, mostly, so we're going to edit this phrase and just say that the commenter indicated we should do certain things to ourselves and our mothers that we are pretty sure are illegal and painful] dont like GLAM rock!!!!!
OK, so we clearly touched a nerve. Well, what can we say? We don’t like the whole glam rock scene. But we respect the desire of others to dress up like drag queens and spew gallons of bombastic music upon those that enjoy that sort of thing.
Anyway, you get the idea.
Well, it’s another lazy Sunday afternoon and we don’t feel like going anywhere, so we’re blessing you with an additional post. Here are some pictures that we’ve made and haven’t been able to use anywhere yet. Just sort of random stuff.
Edgar Guest and the Family Crest
Be our Guest, be our Guest, we’ll show our very best. You can put us to the test, we’re so much better than the rest. Here’s a piece of artwork inspired by folksy rhymer Edgar Guest. We have no idea who the stick figure people are supposed. They just kind of evolved from our mouse clicks. We think they must have been inspired by Chris Ware.
Southwest is the Walmart of the Skies
We rather enjoy Jessica Frech‘s Youtube video satire of the people of Walmart. We’re not ashamed to say that we’ve shopped at Hell-Mart. If one is patient, the experience can be entertaining. Southwest Airlines also seems to attract the Great American Society’s best of breed. Here’s a picture of who-knows-what standing at the Salt Lake International Airport. If we had shot the picture, we would have waited for the chap to get off his cell phone and then asked him what the he was up to. Good grief. Does his wife know? We wonder if his employer is aware that he has expensed the pink corset.
Black Market Follies
Let’s see. What’s next. Oh, here’s one. It took a second to get it. We’re slow. Sorry.
Some girls like a dirty boy. We’ve never met any, but that’s what we’ve heard. This is a panel from the early period of Charles Schultz’s Peanuts cartoons. We prefer those from this era over the later ones.
Total Recall before it Broke Bad
Actually, we haven’t seen it yet. The buzz fizzled and the movie was panned so we chose to do other things. Still, it’s probably time for a look-see. How bad can it be?
So, that’s it. Time to eat.
We rarely watch TV. We never watch the local fire and police report (you know, that thing that most people call “local news”). But one evening recently, we had no particular place to go and our laptops were sitting inconveniently several feet away from our lazy arms so we grabbed the remote and flipped through the channels. What a load of shite. As we made the rounds a second time (as if we expected something new to pop up and peak our interest, duh), we paused on Fox News. Some dolled up chick was ranting about this or that with some sycophantic intervieweree chiming in with a useless comment here and there. We don’t know what the subject was but we noted that the woman was rather fetching so we stuck around for a few seconds longer to enjoy her visage. The joy didn’t last long. The “news” topic was about some inane celebrity and his antics. Really? At this time? When the North Koreans are rattling their sabers. When the Syrians are destabilizing the Middle East? When the President is pushing job up-skilling and gun control? When the issue of freedom to marry was creating long term implications? And, here we were in prime time, hearing some hottie arguing whether George Clooney wipes with the left or right hand. God bless America.
So, since we’re steeped in hypocrisy and banality, we thought it would be clever to collect photos of the ladies that feature regularly on the Fox News Channel and put them into an Infographic. Sadly, what we thought might take an hour or so turned into over two hours of browsing, organizing, sizing, etc. We desperately need (a) better photo manipulation tools and skills (maybe President Obama will set dollars aside for us), and (b) a life.
Enough blather. Here you go.
During our research we discovered that most female personalities on Fox “News” got their start at Hooters, Girls Gone Wild, the Miss America Pageant, and Oral Roberts University. Some of them are Scientologists, a few are lesbians (but, shhh), all have had work done (except Liz Trotta), and none of them are immune to holy water. Here is a sampling of the extracurricular activities of some in this bevy of babes.
And, by popular demand, here’s the unedited shot of Elizabeth Prann with her shirt unbuttoned. We’ve found that the more a woman’s breast is exposed, the more credible she is when talking about political and economic subject matter. That is why we never believe anything that is said on PBS NewsHour.
The Fox News babes remind us that boobs can sell stuff better than old dudes in a suit. Taking a lesson from that, if church attendance starts to wane, we think pastors and the like should hire babes in bikinis to brandish guns and Bibles with a U.S. flag waving behind them while standing outside the doors of their respect buildings. Men have lower attendance rates to church services than women and this would surely bolster the male worshiper numbers, although it might also elicit illicit thoughts and eternal damnation and stuff.
And just for fun … one more. Here’s Lis Wiehl hocking her new book.
Our research indicates that there are seven comic book characters that are directly affiliated with cheese. There may be more, but that’s what we found. Rather than give you the full background, image galleries, and applicable links to good resources, we’ll settle with the list of characters and a brief synopsis. Sorry about the limited scope of the post.
1. Benny Blue (supporting character), Langier Publishers.
1st appearance: Funny Money #3 (1937).
About: Deli owner in the Marvin & Louise strips. Appeared several times in Funny Money issues 3-14. Marvin constantly repeated that Benny’s cheese sandwiches were “aces!” and since most of the story lines took place in or around the deli, the cheese sandwiches figured prominently in the stories.
2. Swiss Miss (hero), Milestone Color Printers.
1st appearance: War Heroes #2 (1943).
About: Secret agent. Supposedly neutral socialite but really working with the Allied resistance. Helped Captain Robert Stanley and his Wonder Warriors cross the Alps to infiltrate and sabotage the German/Italian divisions in Northern Italy during WWII. Her family is apparently in the cheese business or something. She wears a brooch in the shape of a slice of cheese . Appeared again in War Heroes #5.
3. Col. Ludwig Von Limburger (villain), Starlight Enterprises.
1st appearance: Allied Assault #1 (1944).
About: Single issue by short-lived magazine company trying to capitalize on the anti-German nationalistic fervor during WWII. Col. Von Limburger was a an officer in the SS that converted his family’s cheese factory into a weapons manufacturing facility. The allies were able to thwart an attack by the Colonel’s unit, however, because they could smell them coming.
4. Lorraine Brie (supporting character), Ace Comics
1st appearance: Four Favorites #7 (1948).
About: Beautiful and vampy. Made Lightning Lass jealous when she stole Lash Lightning’s attention. Only appeared in one issue in volume three. Daughter of a cheese exporter that trafficked ships through Egypt’s Suez Canal.
5. Comrade Cheese (villain), Marvel.
1st appearance: Captain America Comics #77 (1954).
About: Russian spy. KGB mole in cheese factory in the Bronx. No contact with Captain America and only appeared in two panels. Disappeared and was never caught.
6. Chester Cheese (goofball), Disney.
1st appearance: Walt Disney’s Wonderful World Vol 7 (1956)
About: Recurring character in one page backup stories in issues vol. 2, #62-79, 91-98, and 101. Obsessed with cheddar cheese. Always fitting it into his punchlines.
7. Hard Round (villain), DC
1st appearance: Sensation Comics #42 (1943)
About: Part of a crime syndicate that used specialty objects to destroy and kill. Famous for throwing deadly rounds of cheese at heroes and innocents. Was caught and went to prison but escaped by getting kitchen duty and getting a hold of cheese to break down the outer wall. Was caught and put into isolation where the warden mandated that he was not to get anymore cheese in his meals.
Others that didn’t cut the cheese: The Kurd Curd (a disparaging caricature from an Iraqi children’s comic book), Pierre Roquefort (not really a comic book character; he is an animated character on the short-lived The Cat’s Meow! series, Mario Mozzarella from a 1970s one-shot American Cheese Society advertising comic called Cheese if You Please, Mizithra, the Greek warrior that figures into an illustrated version of a book about Greek myths called The Adventures of Heracles of Macedon (no publication date), and Max Munster the villain in the CBS Saturday morning cartoon by the same name that ran from 1968-1971.
U.S. students may be falling behind academically compared to their peers in other countries, but no one will ever touch our awesome funniness. Think about it. Besides Jackie Chan, did you ever meet someone hilarious from China? Indians are funny, but not on purpose. Packistanis are terrifying. The Japanese are just flat out weird. Koreans have got other issues to worry about. Filipinos can be funny on occasion, but a lot of their humor is cancelled out by their obsession with ladyboys. The Myanmarians (dammit, they want to be Burmese again) aren’t allowed to laugh. The Vietnamese love us long time but resent it. The Cambodians don’t have much to laugh about. The Thais smile all the time, but are too reserved to get into it.
WE LOVE POP QUIZZES. Here’s one to test your prediction prowess.
In the future:
1) Texas will become an independent Republic permanently.
2) The South shall rise again but will quickly complain of back pain and sit back down.
3) America will grow a pair and take over Canada to get at its oil.
4) The Constitution will be required reading and will be debated (as it should be) in high school until middle class, middle Americans deem it unnatural and ungodly.
5) Rednecks will slowly realize they have been duped by the “haves.”
6) Comics A-Go-Go! will become the #1 website in France, which will prove that the French aren’t entirely classless.
1) No; The United States will sell Texas to Mexico
2) Yes; Obesity is a bitch
3) No; the invasion will start, but as soon as winter sets in, that will be the end of that. Brr.
4) Yes; it’s like when mass was no longer held in Latin — have you seen how empty the pews are on Sunday?
5) No; delusion is a bitch.
6) Yes; but we won’t get recognition until we change our name to www.bandesdessineesagogo.com
How did you do?
6 correct answers: You listen to NPR!
4-5 correct answers: You listen to MSNBC!
2-3 correct answers: You listen to ESPN!
1 correct answer: You listen to FOX News!
0 correct answers: You are a Soccer Mom!
You didn’t take the test: You are an American male with a goatee!
You want to destroy Comics A-Go-Go!: You are Anonymous and you frighten us.
Besides the Asians, there are very few pockets of academic bright lights on other continents. On the other side of the world, the Brazilians are a festive bunch but their focus on education isn’t as strong as their focus on economic growth. Besides, they are too busy with beautiful beaches and babes’ buns to work on clever humor. So, back again to the Eastern Hemisphere — the Russians think they’re funny but everyone outside of Russia just gets depressed when they hear a Russian “joke.” Same goes for most of Eastern Europe (although the Poles are surprisingly funny in spite of the terrible “How many Polacks …” jokes). Even though Africans as a whole can be hilarious (so long as they aren’t slaughtering themselves or running 419 scams), there are no educational juggernauts on the subcontinent. Israelis are funny but only to themselves. No one in the Arab world has a sense of humor. The Finns, Dutch, English, Canadians, Australians, and bunches of other people of varying nationalities may have better educational systems but they aren’t a threat to the U.S. in the humor department (although, we will give it to the English (and maybe the Scots and Irish), that when they’re on, it’s actually pretty stellar).
So, yet again, Americans reign supreme. Suck it, the rest of you planetarians! So, when the Chinese and Indians run the world, they will still turn to the United States for our mind-numbing entertainment. We will hurry up and finish our shifts at Walmart and McDonald’s to run home and share the frivolity with them.
Boy, the sarcasm of this post has actually made us quite sad. Yes, Americans actually can be very funny, but, speaking for our fellow countrymen, we would trade a bunch of our best jokes for a community that relishes education like so many other appreciative hominids in other lands.
So, before we get too depressed, let’s take a couple of minutes with some American humor that is at least clever. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em!
And, here’s one for the road. Sarah Palin may have been the hottest VP candidate in history. Who the hell cares that she’s empty-headed and dangerous? She gets a ton of credit with Comics A-Go-Go! for showing up at her graduation naked.
We love statistics. Mining data and looking at charts gets us all hot and bothered. So, we frequently peak at our WordPress stats to see what’s going on. One of the categories that’s interesting to us is the Search Engine Terms listings because we get to see what you’re looking for to get to our blog. Just for fun, here are some of the weirder search terms that ended up as clicks to our website.
“male comic book hairstyles”
We have no idea what would have linked our site with this search term. So, here’s a picture for Google and the like to show for future search results.
“kid creole and the coconuts armpits”
This one was easy. We created a post about Kid Creole and included a link to a Youtube video of one of our favorite Kid songs. We noted in our post that the Coconuts were sporting underarm hair. Why would somebody search for this, though? Fetishes are sometimes unexplainable , we suppose. Here’s the inspiration.
“sarah palin adult comics”
We can’t tell if Antarctic Press slapped a “For Mature Audiences” tag on the cover somewhere, but this is adult enough, we suppose.
“kiim il sung eyebrows”
The misspelling is actually the searcher’s. Anyway, is there something special about Kim Il-Sung’s eyebrows? We’re not sure there was before, but there is now. Our image portraying the various possibilities with a dictator’s facial hair is sure to be well studied in political science classes. For us, it isn’t his eyebrows that are of particular interest, though. Kim Il-sung, Kim Jong-il, and Kim Jong-un demonstrate that batshitness has something to do with hair.
“big growing muscles comics”
This terrible 1990′s offense to the senses is brought to you by none other than the Grand Lord of Bombastic Hackery, Rob Liefeld. There are so many things wrong with this picture. “Big growing muscles” is just one of them.
“tintin and haddock in love”
Ah, amor. In Europe, the age of consent is 12, so this would be a legitimate pairing. And why not? Hergé was already a racist and anti-animalist.
“fat guy and the hot chick powergirl”
Why is it that the hot chick always ends up with the nasty old dude in Hollywoodland and in French films starring Gérard Depardieu? Yuck. Incidentally, Gérard is France’s Nick Nolte, n’est-ce pas?
“inside out babies”
The only safe thing we could think of that relates to this freakish search term was a shot of Maggie from a Simpson’s Halloween special. The story goes that a noxious gas turns the family members’ bodies inside out.
guy who draws large boobs on comic book characters
“toon girl with honey in the pussy”
Not surprisingly, a lot of the search terms are sexual in nature and a huge amount are a variation on the theme of “boobs.” Most of them are directed to a tongue-in-cheek post we did called Biggest Boobs in Comics. But some are just unexplainable. Here’s the best we could come up with for “toon girl with honey in the pussy.”
Well, here we are. Sixteen months after launching an insipid little blog for no other reason than to have something to do with our playtime, we have created more than 300 posts and over 2,600 images. We also just crossed a couple of milestones. Comics A-Go-Go! has been viewed by the mildly curious in 150 counties (thank you Laos for pushing us over the top). Depending on how one interprets the definition of countries and country-ish entities, that still leaves 50-75 that need to get on board (yeah, we’re looking at you Seychelles… we even claimed you as our current address in one of our posts – geez, some gratitude).
The big number, though, is the 100,000 page view mark. We had no aspirations of getting more than a couple hundred visitors a month, but in the last three months, we are getting more than 250-300 unique visitors and about 400 pages daily. And that number jumped a bit more this month. So, thanks! Come back often. Tell your friends. Tell your enemies — we don’t care!
Just out of curiosity, we wondered what most of the types of people are that visit our site. So, we looked at our most popular posts and this is what we deduced:
- You think it’s funny when deluded fictional people kill themselves
- You are Jimi Hendrix fans
- You love big boobs (and are willing to settle for NO nudity or porn)
- You think cosplay is übercool
- You are fans of Asterix and Cleopatra
- You think Batman has an interesting cadre of enemies
- and … you think it’s hilarious that the Hulk thrashes Loki
Based on our least popular posts, we figured this out about our visitors:
- You are not big fans of Kim Kardashian (this surprised us, but we assume that you are seriously mistaken in thinking this website is high-brow or that the search engines may not be giving us enough credit for this awesome post)
- You think Asterix and the Banquet is mediocre (yes, that)
- You are not vampire lovers
So, help us celebrate. Print off copies of this US$100,000 bill, order yourself a Big Mac at McDonald’s, and when you give them the “money” ask for your change back in quantities of (3) $20 bills, (18) $10 bills, (7) $5 bills, and the rest in $2 bills. And then give the manager a hug. She’s having a rough day because her fry cook quit, no one understands the drive-through attendant, and some kid just threw up in all over the plastic utensils, straws, and napkins.
We made this picture for some a future post but we can’t remember what it was now. Dammit-all!
Well, we might as well throw it out. It does remind us of Saturdays and Sundays at the ol’ Comics A-Go-Go! household.
Yeah, this was kind of snotty of us, huh? If you were expecting something about the upcoming Batman movie, sorry to disappoint. We have plenty of other Batman: The Dark Knight Rises posts to fix that yen.
This is one of our favorite pictures. Everything is good about it. Misty. Eerie forest (oh, how we love trees! We must be part Ent). Mysterious lighting. Anyway, we enjoy looking at it every now and then.
In one of our boxes, we stumbled across a little gem we had forgotten about. Canadian artist/illustrator Graham Roumieu put out a book in 2003 called “In Me Own Words: The Autobiography of Bigfoot.” It’s a hilarious satire of the Bigfoot-believer community. Written and drawn sloppily as if it was from an intelligent but marginally literate and thoroughly annoyed creature’s perspective, the book captures a handful of Bigfoot’s ramblings. We haven’t read them yet, but there are two sequels to this funny little book which we assume are more of the same. Here is a sampling from “In Me Own Words.”