As we’ve mentioned before, one of our very first comic books was The Dark Knight Returns. Having read a few of our friends’ Hot Stuff, Archie, war, and superhero comics when we were younger, we didn’t really know what to make of TDKR. Yeah, so, wow. Incredible art. Spell-binding story. Mature content. Expensive format.
With only four books in the series to dive into, we wanted more, so, off we went chasing down other delights done by this group of people called Frank Miller, Klaus Janson, and Lynn Varley. After asking around, a pompous and annoying geek (we weren’t quite used to the denizens of our hobby back in the day) that worked at one of the stores we started to frequent suggested we try Ronin, a creator-driven affair by the Miller-Varley team. Again, another wow.
Anyway, one of the primary reasons we fell in love with The Dark Knight Returns and Ronin was the richness of the colors throughout the books. The reds (you know we like red) were so vivid we could taste them. The colorist, Lynn Varley, had made a fan.
So, we asked around to see what else he or she (Lynn could be either, right?) had done. Nobody knew nothin’. We found a couple of Lone Wolf and Cub books (which are not really our thing) with his or her name on it, but that was pretty much it.
Then, along came the World Wide Web. Eventually, we got around to searching for “Lynn Varley” but found practically nothing. What little we did glean was that she was a she and that she was the wife of Frank Miller. We found a couple of additional credits, but for the most part we had no idea who this color magician was.
Anyway, now it’s 2013 and one would think that anything and everything that there is to say about anything and everything would be easily accessible through Google. Think again. Go try to find some details about Lynn Varley. Other than discovering that she divorced Miller (or he divorced her – even that’s not clear) in 2005, and that she colored some additional stuff for Frank (300, The Dark Knight Strikes Again (which, by the way, is not at all like the very satisfying Pink Panther Strikes Again but much more like Son of Pink Panther (well, that was an obscure reference, huh?)), Elektra Lives Yet Again, and Big Guy and Rusty the Boy Robot), details about her are very difficult to nail down.
And it gets worse. In our search for more details about Lynn, we realized we hadn’t seen any photographs of her. We put up a valiant effort (well, that’s questionable because we have a very short attention span and we are famously lazy) and still came up blank. Then, a couple of days ago we were reading up on the next Sin City movie and saw Happy Frank vamping around some red carpet with a dame dangling off his arm. The picture descriptions noted that the dame was Lynn Varley. Here one of those pictures, along with our patented vandalism.
Trouble is, that’s not Lynn Varley. It’s Kimberly Halliburton Cox, a Shakespeare scholar, and purportedly a hairless, pasty chimp.* Kim has been with Frank since they stumbled into each other at ShopRite Liquors in Hoboken in 2007. Their torrid affair has included several indictments for domestic abuse, rabble-rousing, public nuisances involving achohol, and a bunch of other minor crimes we don’t want to bother making up. Kim had a turn at acting as a minor character in the unfortunate rendition of Will Eisner’s The Spirit. Just sayin’. Not sure what, but … we’re just sayin’.
* So, the story goes that Kimberly Halliburton Cox apparently didn’t much care for one of her boyfriend’s employees. She went ape-shit (really; that’s the reason for the chimp reference) and spread her feces across the desk of the maligned employee. Now, now. There are always two (or more) sides to a story. Of course there is the possibility that the former employee, Joanna Gallardo-Mills, may have committed horrible acts of her own. But we don’t know that. And she’s not the one being sued. And … seriously? Who strips off their underwear and puts it along with a used tampon in an employee’s work space? And, is the act of throwing telephones at people ever a good idea in the work place? This kind of craziness reminds us of another comic book matron, Nancy Silberkleit. Anyway, read more on this bizarre story.
Be aware that, although rare, the Internet is occasionally wrong. Kind of like when a real photo surfaced of Elvis lounging around poolside in a Speedo at a Galveston, TX hotel (years after his purported death). The online newsrag (not to be identified as Entertainment Weekly, ha, ha) mistakenly tagged the portly mutton-chopper as Tom Jones (seriously?!, do some responsible reporting for a change, EW).
Anyway, long story shorter, we rolled up our sleeves and found a few obscure pictures of this very difficult to locate woman. Lynn, if you catch wind of this post and aren’t too camera-shy to do so, please (1) post some additional pictures of yourself preferably in the act of coloring stuff, and (2) pick up the pace and do some more work (preferably not with Frank – we’re pissed off at him at the moment due to his insane banter about the Occupy Wall Street movement).
Oh, c’mon! What? Is Lynn akin to Bigfoot? The Loch Ness Monster? Was she going for the whole Shroud of Turin look in the picture to the left? We’re seriously beginning to wonder if Lynn is in the Witness Protection Program. Wikipedia has nothing more than a stub on Lynn and … surprise, surprise … no picture. If we can’t get everything we want from Wikipedia, we’re considering continuing to not provide support donations. That’ll teach ‘em.
Here’s a comprehensive (we can only suppose) list of credits for Lynn.