Tag Archives: Tom Cruise

The Divorcer – splitting up famous people, starting with Tom Cruise

17 Feb

We were scouring Google Images looking for who-knows-what for a future post (hey, we sometimes run out of ideas), and stumbled on a picture of some famous couple divorcing. That made us think of a gimmick. So, we’re going to grab a bunch of pictures of legitimate split-ups and then make up a few of our own. We shall call our stupid joke “The Divorcer.”  Here are several examples at the expense of one of our favorite punching bags – Tom Cruise.

Tom Cruise divorced Mimi Rogers in 1990

The Divorcer Strikes!

Tom Cruise divorced Nicole Kidman in 2001

The Divorcer Strikes Again!

Tom Cruise divorced Katie in 2012

The Divorcer is almost getting embarrassed  for you now, Tom.

As you know, Tom has been divorced three times, but betcha didn’t know about his cohabitational arrangement with Val Kilmer back in the 1980s. Yeah, seems that they got it on during the filming of the movie Top Gun and then shacked up for several weeks until Val found out Tom was seeing Mimi Rogers. The break-up did not go well. Oddly, they both sparred over Zac Efron’s affections in 2005. Val had kept an eye on young Zac and as soon as he turned 18, bam!, Val was there with flowers. As it turned out, Zac wasn’t into older men. Val licked his wounds and gained a ton of weight and Tom swung back to the breeder track eventually marrying Katie Holmes.

Tom Cruise dated Val Kilmer

Sometimes we wonder what’s wrong with us.

Zac Efron nude on beach

We really don’t know much about our demographic since we’re too cheap to pay for a them that includes those types of analytics, so we aren’t sure if this is working it for you or not. However, given the popularity of our Boobs posts, we’re guessing not. Well, for the remaining 13% of you, enjoy or something.

Mel Gibson is a Grade A asshole.

And our final split up for the day: Mel “Ragin’ Mad” Gibson and Robyn Moore. We don’t know Ms. Moore, but on paper, it appears she was dumped into a dung heap by Mel and then covered with used cat litter. We were indifferent towards Mel as an actor before all of the bat-shitedness of his antics over the last few year came to light, but now we don’t much care for him at all. Incidentally, the joke on the picture about Robyn going to hell isn’t a joke. Mel really does believe she will and was even convinced of it while they were still married.

If we have any readers that are members of the Opus Dei, nice try. We don’t care what your spokespeople say, we know Mel is a member of your secret society. Actually, that wasn’t very nice of us. We know a couple of Opus Deirs and they’re zealous but not loony, as far as we know anyway.

Brooke Shields also played Wonder Woman?!

23 Jan

Wonder Woman, DC Comcis

Robot 6 Comic Book ResourcesRobot 6 reports that someone dug up pictures and details from a theatrical event that starred Brooke Shields as Wonder Woman. During the 1980s, Brooke participated in theater during her studies at Princeton and in this particular venue she starred as the Amazon princess in a play called “Star Spangled Banter” (given the title, we assume it was most likely a comedy). We have no idea what it was all about but we were amused and impressed by Ms. Shields’ convincing look as Our Lady of the Lasso. So, why not? Better than heroin waif Angie Bowie, says we. And Brooke almost looks physical enough that we believe she could climb a set of stairs without breaking a heel.

Brooke Shields

Lo! Yonder cometh he who is called John Byrne. We must, we WILL protect you, sweet princess, from Lord Byrne and the minions that serve him. Quick! Repair to the deepest jungles of Amazonia! We shall await the coming of the one called Hughes.

So, yeah.  Here are some images of Ms. Shields chewing the scenery.

Brooke Shields, actress

As for Brooke’s tenuous relationship with Tom “I’m not nuts or gay, I’m just misunderstood” Cruise Mapother, it appears that they have settled their differences and made up. OK, fine. That’s really old news, but here’s a somewhat recent photo of the couple hamming it up on the red carpet. Meanwhile, on the other side of the press crush is Katie Holmes with Mimi Rogers. We’re hearing some juicy rumors percolating about Nicole Kidman throwing in with the other two for a show tentatively titled “My Three Ex-Wives.”  Should be interesting. Showtime is purportedly picking up the pilot.

Brooke Sheild, Tom Cruise

We’re starting to wonder if there isn’t any female celebrity that at one time or another didn’t don the Stars and Eagle. For example, Kim Kardashian showed up to a Halloween party dressed as the Amazonian heir. Curiously, she wore black tights under her outfit. Must have been cold. At any rate, to show our appreciation, we present Kim’s ass-et.

Kim Kardashian, Wonder Woman Cosplay

And just for fun, this cosplayer got into the spirit by showing her support for the Walking Dead-Wonder Woman crossover. Unfortunately, it is unlikely that the special TV event will take place. On a bright note, though, rumor has it Zombieland will be converted into an going TV series. We can hope, can’t we?

Wonder Woman Zombie

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