August has sucked. OK, it’s just us that suck, actually. Only three posts thus far. Three! That matches the number of readers we have. OK, not really, but that’s all we’ll have if we keep this pace up (or down). So, what’s new with us? Why, a lot, in fact. Here’s what’s happened since the infamous Blueberry post of August 10, 2012:
Asma al-Assad hasn’t let the whole genocide thing slow down her modeling career. Here she is in a recent bikini shoot. Note the photo wasn’t shot on a beach. It’s hard to be a sexy swimsuit model when you’re hiding in a reinforced concrete bunker.
Summer hasn’t ended yet, so our prediction that Batshit al-Assad would relinquish the throne by the end of the summer is still a hopeful prophecy. Bashar and Asma, don’t let us down! We have a lot of money riding on this (not really, but let’s pretend) and, oh yeah, the Syrian people kind of need to stop getting oppressed and slaughtered. You’re just forestalling the inevitable anyway.
The momentary good news for the revolution, was that the regime’s vice president, Farouk al-Cheney had defected to Jordan. But in a news interview today on Al-Jazeera, Mr. al-Cheney scoffed at such rumors. “Bah! Grr! Mumble, mumble, fttt-fttt,” said the still-instated VP. Meanwhile, the revolutionaries did confirm that Farouk Al-Sharaa, Mr. al-Cheney’s body double had defected to Oman. “Hey, at this point, we’ll take what we can get,” said spokeperson Ben al-Jeri pointing out that Mr. Farouk Al-Sharaa had been Syria’s only real threat in the International Beatbox Yo-Yo Revolution competition. “This takes Syria’s pop culture down quite a peg,” continued Mr. al-Jeri. “Expect the al-Assad regime to get laughed out of the competition this year if they send Prime Minister Wael Nader al-Halqi instead. He’s an idiot.”
No one ever doubted Bashar was a devotee … a devotee to Just Dance, that is.
Next in the news: the Prince of Portliness, Kim Jong-un, apparently got married or something. OK, the news broke in July, but we didn’t get around to absorbing the issue ‘cuz the Comic-Con was still swimming around our rattled noggins. Anyway, good for him. It reinforces the point that money and/or power and/or threats of disembowelment can get a woman to marry an handsomeness-impaired weirdo.
Speaking of weird, what is it with the Kims and their hair? We couldn’t imagine a sillier “do” than the bouffant that Dandy Andy Kim Jong-il sported, but Kim Jong-un’s floppy, down-the-middle, Li’l Tyke hair style deserves a resounding round of guffaws from his fellow countrymen, but we suspect that won’t happen, what with the whole Cult of Personality (and the threat of torture) thing going on. Grandaddy had some goofy hair too, by the way. It’s all part of the madness that runs in that family’s genetic disposition. And speaking of the personality cult phenomenon, check out the crazies bawling in the picture below with Kim il-Sung. Seriously, you know you have major brainwashing going on when being in the presence of the nutty leader/oppressor of your country overwhelms your emotions. “Big Daddy makes the ladies all wet,” Mr. Kim used to say. “And sometimes the fairies too!” he would add. Hey, his words, not ours.
Here’s Great Leader, Kim Il-sung showing what happens when you go from Marxist revolutionary to self-indulgent hypocrite. Go back to your roots, man. Keep the faith. Let your people eat something for a change.
We got into the 2013 Comic-Con! Huzzah! Miracle of Miracles. Since we made it into two days of the Con this year, that qualified us for early round purchases for next year. We were hoping for a 4-day+preview-night deal, so when the message came across the waiting room page that those were sold out, we assumed that there might be a few single day badges still available. Probably Thursday and Sunday again (grrr), but when we got to the head of line, we found out that single day passes for all 4 days were available. Good enough. So, apparently the infamous Comics A-Go-Go! streak of bad luck has ended. Either that or the gods are conspiring to give us greater disappointment at a later date like, oh let’s see, how about we develop gangrene or the world gets consumed by a wormhole. Actually, that last one would be cool if we ended up in another galaxy far, far away where spacecraft actually made real noises in the vacuum of space. No? Too obscure?
Yet another landmark from the land of Comics A-Go-Go! We’ve always been fools for nice round numbers. They make adding and subtracting so much easier. Having said that, too many zeroes in a number scare us. Anyway, sometime at the beginning of the month we hit 50,000 page views. 48,525 were for the post linked to the Tony Hayward picture below.
OK, not really. Actually no single post really stands out but the one linked to the Joker picture below has been the leader in the last month. As The Dark Knight Rises movie eventually winds down, this post will lose steam too. By then, we’ll do some sort of post on actual comics rather than this drivel so stick with us, sunshine.