Funny Search Terms this Week

Every once in a while, I take a look at what people are searching for that brings them to my blog. No, I don’t know who you are. I just know what you’re looking for.

Not surprisingly, Syria has been top-of-mind for a lot of people so several search terms relate to the al-Assads. Since I’ve written and posted images about Bashar and Asma several times, I’ve gotten a lot of traffic. Some of my stuff is about how sexy Asma is and how much Bashar looks like Beaker the Muppet. So, I had dozens of terms relating to Asma such as “asma al-assad” followed by … bikini, ass, boobs, naked, swimsuit, etc. As for Bashar, I had terms such as “Bashar al Assad” followed by … muppet, beaker, etc.”

Of course, the search engines point people to my site because I do have Asma al-Assad pictures, although I don’t have any nudes. Apparently, lots of other people think Bashar looks like Beaker. Another cateogy that’s always strong relates to a tongue-in-cheek post I did about the preponderance of attractive women that are employed by Fox News. Elizabeth Prann seems to be the most popular and a lot of people apparently like her breasts.  Kim Guilfoyle is also popular apparently because she was a Victoria’s Secret model.

These were my two favorite terms for the week: “hiccup f***ing astrix [sic] images raiders of berk” and “where is bashar al assad hiding.” I have no idea what the first one means and I have no idea how to answer the second one.

Funny Search Terms

Fox News Babes

Fox News Logo that says Foxy NewsWe rarely watch TV. We never watch the local fire and police report (you know, that thing that most people call “local news”). But one evening recently, we had no particular place to go and our laptops were sitting inconveniently several feet away from our lazy arms so we grabbed the remote and flipped through the channels. What a load of shite. As we made the rounds a second time (as if we expected something new to pop up and peak our interest, duh), we paused on Fox News. Some dolled up chick was ranting about this or that with some sycophantic interviewee chiming in with a useless comment here and there. We don’t know what the subject was but we noted that the woman was rather fetching so we stuck around for a few seconds longer to enjoy her visage.   The joy didn’t last long. The “news” topic was about some inane celebrity and his antics. Really? At this time? When the North Koreans are rattling their sabers. When the Syrians are destabilizing the Middle East? When the President is pushing job up-skilling and gun control? When the issue of freedom to marry was creating long term implications? And, here we were in prime time, hearing some hottie arguing whether George Clooney wipes with the left or right hand. God bless America.

So, since we’re steeped in hypocrisy and banality, we thought it would be clever to collect photos of the ladies that feature regularly on the Fox News Channel and put them into an Infographic. Sadly, what we thought might take an hour or so turned into over two hours of browsing, organizing, sizing, etc. We desperately need (a) better photo manipulation tools and skills (maybe President Obama will set dollars aside for us), and (b) a life.

Enough blather. Here you go.

Fox News Women Infographic

During our research we discovered that most female personalities on Fox “News” got their start at Hooters, Girls Gone Wild, the Miss America Pageant, and Oral Roberts University. Some of them are Scientologists, a few are lesbians (but, shhh), all have had work done (except Liz Trotta), and none of them are immune to holy water. Here is a sampling of the extracurricular activities of some in this bevy of babes.

Elizabeth Prann from Fox News exposes her breastAnd, by popular demand, here’s the unedited shot of Elizabeth Prann with her shirt unbuttoned. We’ve found that the more a woman’s breast is exposed, the more credible she is when talking about political and economic subject matter. That is why we never believe anything that is said on PBS NewsHour.

The Fox News babes remind us that boobs can sell stuff better than old dudes in a suit. Taking a lesson from that, if church attendance starts to wane, we think pastors and the like should hire babes in bikinis to brandish guns and Bibles with a U.S. flag waving behind them while standing outside the doors of their respective buildings. Men have lower attendance rates to church services than women and this would surely bolster the male worshiper numbers, although it might also elicit illicit thoughts and eternal damnation and stuff.

Sex and Religion

And just for fun … one more. Here’s Lis Wiehl hocking her new book.

Fox News Girl Lis Wiehl with cleavage


It’s a Family Guy Nazi-fest!

Family Guy Satire

Archie Comics, political humor

Now THAT’s an election debate we could all get into!

We love Fox News because it provides so much fuel for our satire. We were planning to write a post about any number of Draconian points on which the ill-informed conservative crowd stand, but we grew weary with all the seriousness.

Last night, we watched the Family Guy  “German Guy” episode and thought it might be a nice gesture to mock both the Nazis and the pundits of Fox News at the same time.  Since calling a political figure a Nazi is a seriously harsh insult (unless the individual actually self-identifies as a fascist), we figured we ought to go with exactly that. It’s unlikely that the conservative columnists and celebrities are actually Nazis but the possibility still exists and it makes for convenient satire.

The scene where Chris goes into Lt.  Franz Schlechtnacht’s Nazi shrine room created a nice backdrop for this post. We scoured the web for images of Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter, Dick Cheny, and Mel Gibson since they had all been animated for the show in previous episodes and we felt they were deserving of our criticism. So, here you go.

Family Guy, Nazi Satire

Sponsored with gusto by Fox News.

Can’t get enough poking fun at Nazis? Give our Hogan’s Heroes post a shot.


NOTE to our conservative readers: You are welcome to attack the clearly cynical nature of this post but keep in mind that this blog is mostly about humor so if you can’t take an incendiary joke, go read this instead.